Quarter Life Conundrum?

Everyone has surely heard of the quarter life crisis. Usually hits around the early 20's - a time when you are out of school but not yet sure what to do with the rest of your life. It seems like no one else understands, no one "gets you"... yada yada yada. I think I already had mine. At least I already had the panic that accompanies the quarter life crisis.

I panicked that I had no idea what to do with my life, where to live, how to live- I felt very lost in the world. Well, maybe I'm over the crisis or maybe I've just learned to live with it, but I'm at a place where I'm okay with not knowing. I've embraced my lack of certainty. I realize that I'm only 24, I'm still relatively young and there is no rush.

Admittedly, I do have moments where I think "Gosh, so many of my friends are married and seem to be on a track, am I falling behind? Am I never going to have that?" But then I get over it. I really don't want to be married right now. Sure, the stability and companionship would be nice and if I found it tomorrow I wouldn't object, but at this point in my life- this very day, this very moment- I'm enjoying having the freedom to do whatever I want. Don't get me wrong, I'm not some selfish punk who doesn't want to get married for fear of losing my "freedom." As I said, I will gladly embrace that situation when it presents itself. But I digress, this post is not about stability, its about instability.

I'm at a point in my life where I don't know what to do with myself. I have so many brilliant ideas and the only thing that scares me is not being able to fulfill them. I want to live in Europe. I want to become a history teacher. I want to get a high level degree in military psychology. I want to live in DC. I want to move back to NY. I want to be near my friends. I want to be near my family. All glorious ideas, however I must pick and choose because I can not, logistically, have it all.

I love my job. As much as anyone could love their job, after all, they have to pay us because it is in fact "work." Would I prefer to jet set around the world taking pictures and learning foreign languages? You bet I would, but that won't pay the bills. So in the meantime, my job is just great. Which makes it very hard to leave to pursue any of those previously mentioned ideas. And I like it where I am, I have friends here but I do miss home. But I do long to live in Europe or go to school full time. I just can't make up my mind what to do. No matter what, something will be sacrificed. I guess it will come down to which sacrifices I'm willing to make. And the fear that I will pick the wrong one resulting in a life of perpetual 'what ifs' is always present.

So here I am, stuck in my quarter life crisis. Although crisis implies panic and stress, of which I am neither. So less crisis, more conundrum.

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Post Script: When I googled images of "quarter life crisis" my results yeilded a picture of Britney Spears. Ha! Thanks for making me feel better, Google. :)