Flowers and Thunderstorms

Yesterday I ran into Giant to pick up a few groceries for dinner. I made it just in time as the big black storm clouds were just rolling in across the sky. As I shopped I could hear the thunder and teeming rain. During my stroll through the store I had to stop by the flower department. It was the happiest and most vibrant grocery store flower department I have ever seen. I have to imagine that no matter how sad you are, just walking through there would lift your spirits. It was so colorful and alive! The picture doesn't really do it justice, but take my word for it, it was colorful and bright and there were balloons and everything. I was in awe.

I managed to prolong my shopping trip long enough to outlast the rain. The parking lot was filled with water and jumping through puddles in my heels was no easy feat. I can't complain though, I love big thunderstorms like that. Northern Virginia is good for their t-storms in the spring and summer. We had a ton last year, I loved it. I do love sunshine, but a good deep rumbling thunderstorm and pouring rain (when you don't have outdoor plans of course) is hard to beat.

Penn State vball vs. GMU

Nothing short of addiction

I have what most people would consider an "addictive personality." I remember in my younger years thinking that addictive personality meant you were so stellar that people would just be addicted to you. Oh, to be so young and naïve. Suddenly, as I’ve grown up my “addictive personality” has become apparent in the way that I find something I enjoy for the moment and latch on for a couple of weeks I get “hooked” on things for short bursts of time. Most notably: projects and random TV shows. In terms of projects, I sometimes get in scrapbooking fix, and it’s all I can think about, all I want to do, constantly thinking of page layouts and what pictures to put where. Last fall I became addicted to watching “The Office.” Every day for who knows how long, I rented disk by disk, the entire DVD series from Blockbuster. I would watch every night while cleaning my room or just sitting on my bed. I’d stay up until 2 o’clock in the morning, always wanting to watch “just one more.”

Now my latest addiction is the Navy crime show, “NCIS.” I have my Dad to thank for this one because last time I was home visiting he made me watch an episode of his “favorite show.” And one episode was all it took. It’s a pretty easy show to get in to; you don’t need to have watched the past five seasons to feel up to speed. Its like “Law and Order,” some character development, but mostly just crime solving. Anyway, this show has, like so many others before it, taken over my life.

I’ve discovered that through my Netflix subscription I can watch them for free online through the Netflix website. AND, it’s commercial free, which is infinitely better than sitting through commercials on the CBS website. I do find myself staying up till all hours watching episode after episode. Then I dream about them, dream about the characters, and dream about being an NCIS agent myself. I also fall asleep planning how I could possibly be murdered and leave the agents clues to find my killer. Slightly demented? I can see why you’d think that, but it’s harmless, I’m not really worried about being murdered. My roommate and my cat will protect me.

While I can easily get hooked on things, I can also easily “unhook” myself. When I finish the TV series or the project, I’ll feel a little lost for a day, but I’ll get over it. And then I’ll move on to my next fixation. It’s a cycle, it’s a fault and I’m okay with it.

Watching history

Last night, Senator Barack Obama was declared the presumptive nominee for the democratic candidate for President.
It was a momentous occasion marred only by the immediate question of Hillary's fate. I'm not her biggest fan by a long shot, but if having her on the ticket will help Obama get into the White House, then so be it. I am also confident that he could beat McCain without Clinton's name on his ticket. That said, here's the clip of CNN announcing their projection last night. Enjoy this moment in history.

Mother's Day without a Mom

Shame on me for not writing in a few weeks. Life has been insanely busy for some reason so please accept my apologies.

This past weekend was Mother's Day. And as you may or not be aware, my mother died very suddenly and unexpectedly just shy of two years ago. It was without a doubt the single most defining time of my life. My mother, as with many mothers, was my core, my constant, my reason. She was the one thing that remained steady when everything else was up or down. I counted on her to be there when I complete grad school, when I get married, when I have children... and for all the moments in between. I never in a million years would have thought I'd have to tackle those events without her.

The first year was the worst. No surprise there. It was the Year of Firsts (Without Her). The first Thanksgiving, the first Christmas, the first birthday (mine and hers), the first Mother's Day. Each holiday providing its own unique reminder of what was no longer there. I'm a big card giver and so for that first year I continued to buy her cards. Call me crazy, I really don't care. It helped me. As I would stand in Hallmark amongst the other card purchasing customers, I felt like I had a huge scarlet letter on my chest. I felt like everyone in the store knew my secret, that the card in my hand was for a mother I no longer had. The scarlet letter is still there, I know I still wear it, but I've gotten used to it. And I know now that my scarlet letter is not visible to strangers, but only to those who know me, and know what happened. I will, at least for the next several years be the "girl whose mom died." That is my scarlet letter.

After I survived the first anniversary, August 26, I felt like a huge weight was lifted. It no longer preoccupied every moment of everyday. In my head, my every thought was no longer followed with "and my mom died." It sounds strange, but that's how it was. My inner monologue often sounded something like, "What should I have for dinner tonight? Mom died." "I need to get that report done for work. And moms gone." And I don't know how the switch flipped, but it did and on August 27, 2007 I woke up feeling like a new girl.

Now, don't get me wrong. Its still far from over. It will never be over. I will always miss her. I will always wish that she was here. I will always have my scarlet letter. But its a matter of acceptance now. And what helped me the most was allowing myself to feel. I think my mom taught me to be strong. I've never felt more strong and accomplished in my whole life as I do now.

And so as Mother's Day this year came and I went, I realized that everyday is Mother's Day to me. Every day I think about my mother, and every day I miss her. Every day I think about how much I love and appreciate her and how I wouldn't be who I am today without her. Sunday was the day Hallmark tells everyone else to do what I get to do every day.

Happy Belated Mothers Day :)

David Cook is still rocking my world

Last night's Idol was particularly bad. Brooke forgot her words and had to start her performance over, about which even Paula couldn't muster up a nice thing to say. The kid with the dreads that everyone loves (I don't get it?) wasn't very good. David Archuleta annoys me all the time so nothing new there.

But ahh, my breath of fresh air, David Cook. He was good, I wasn't crazy about the song, but he did well with what he had to work with. Also, I got a kick out of Andrew Lloyd Weber telling Dave to "pretend I'm some hot little 17 year old," to which Dave quickly quipped back "ha, well, I'm 25 so I don't think that's a good idea..."

One of the bloggers over at Mollygood posted an old video of Kelly Clarkson on Big Band Night during Idol Season 1. What happened to the good old days? Contestants used to dress up in whatever theme that night was, and was really something different and fun to watch. Now they all just wear regular boring clothes.

My old roommates and I used to say that Idol should have a "Best of" Season. Bring back all the big hitters. Don't vote anyone off, even make it just a one night show where they each sing their one or two best Idol songs. This inspired me to get on youtube and make my very own lineup for this Best of Idol show. Please sit back, grab some popcorn and enjoy the good old days and the rare, decent talent.

Clay Aiken “To Love Somebody”


Kelly Clarkson “Surrender”


Tamyra Gray “Minnie the Moocher”


Carrie Underwood “Alone”


David Cook “Always Be My Baby”

David Cook Rocks my World

Holy crap.

David Cook needs to either win Idol or get kicked off now so he can start work on an album which I will be first in line to purchase.

I've been following Idol pretty casually this year but I do consider myself pretty familiar with all the contestants. I've always been a big fan of David Cook, Michael John and... sometimes the blond girls (neither of which mind you hold a candle to Carrie Underwood or Kelly Clarkson).

I'm a sucker for celebs and Mariah Carey was the guest coach this week so of course I tuned in. The first six were average, forgettable, nothing special. I had been waiting for David Cook to come on because I knew his brother was going to be in the audience and I figured it would be emotional given the circumstances (his brother has brain cancer, I think? Its really sad and I read that family and friends chartered a private medical jet for him to be able to attend the taping tonight). So I was a little surprised when David chose "Always Be My Baby."

However, I was floored by his performance, he absolutely blew me away. His interpretation was so original and creative and so well done, it was brilliant. All the judges agreed that he is ready for the big time. Their feedback was so positive it left Dave with tears in his eyes. Personally, I think they were happy tears that he rocked so hard the night his brother was in attendence. I am still just in awe over his performance, thank god I Tivo-ed it because I've already watched it 4 times since the show ended 15 minutes ago.

Okay, that's my freak out over David Cook. I cannot wait til he puts out an album and goes on tour. He's amazing. Ok, goodnight.

Update: Someone put the video up on Youtube, mind you its 7:30am when I'm adding this and already over 30,000 views.

Make Like a Starfish

This post is inspired by a funny little article I read on MSN last week which was a list of things all single girls should do before they get married. You can read it here. And I do recommend reading it.

My favorite piece of advice they gave was “Take advantage of the whole bed. You have the rest of your life to stick to "your" side when you sleep next to your man. Right now, place your pillow smack-dab in the center and make like a starfish.”

Make like a starfish. This is now what pops into my head every night when I crawl into my big empty bed and it always makes me giggle. I’ve shifted my pillows and I sleep right in the middle of my bed. I admit it is slightly annoying when I have to crawl across to hit my alarm clock in the morning, but it’s a small price to pay.

The article also suggests traveling a lot now, sans man. I think this is a great idea. I’ve done a lot of traveling and I love having that under my life belt. I wouldn’t suggest going on a world tour however, because I once dated a guy who had been practically everywhere and the thought of never going somewhere new to him was a little discouraging. Its fun to explore new places together, but it also doesn’t hurt to have a little extra world flavor in your column. Plus it makes for great conversations and stories.

I think a lot of girls my age are afraid to take risks. There is that fear that “something bad could happen.” But how else will you learn how to make mistakes and pick yourself up and dust yourself off if you never let yourself fall? I can’t imagine you’d be a very interesting person if you’ve never gone out on a limb for something, or made a decision that could drastically change your life. Those experiences, those ups and downs, the good times and the bad ones, make us who we are. As corny as it is, I’m a firm believer that whatever doesn’t kill us makes us stronger. And more interesting.

I also think teaching yourself to cook is a great idea. I know, I’m sure all the feminists hate me for that one, but I’m a traditional girl. My mother always cooked dinner and I have no problem doing the same. If I find a man who loves to cook- great! But if not, I have no problem assuming that duty. And I love cooking- even if it’s just for me. It’s a great time to experiment and burn things and screw up.

“Want a cat? Heed this advice: Buy it now. Call it Snowflake. Let it sleep next to you in bed. If you wait to get a pet with your betrothed, it will end up being a big, slobbering Lab called Bif.” Ha- this one of course made me laugh. Although I do want a dog, I think that would be a more fun “we” project than a “me” project. Plus, I’m traveling too much right now to have a dog ;-)

I'm still voting for Obama

SNL loves Hillary, but this skit is still pretty funny.

Ellen cracks me up

I am a huge fan of Ellen. I think she is hysterical. I love that I could watch her standup show with my parents and not feel awkward because she took it to that level. She's clean and she's so funny because she speaks the truth - people laugh at what they know is true. That said, I saw this clip from her show online today and had tears from laughing so hard. Its just a segment about an actual product she saw an infomercial for, a special chair if you will. Anyway- if you need a little laugh for the day- watch this:

A Brief Hiatus

Yea, sorry about that, I got very disenfranchised with Top Model so I boycotted my own blog. I lost all motivation to write about anything at all. Sad, really.

But, I'm back- at least for today. I'll do a Top Model post after this one. For this post however, I just feel like rambling a bit about the past few weeks since I last posted.

Politics

The election is moving along, Hillary is still Hillary and Barack is still fabulous. McCain is still trying to ruin everything. This whole Rev. Wright this is really bothering me. Not so much what he said (while, yes, it was some pretty horrible stuff) but the fact that people are trying to tear Obama down for it. Obama did not say these things. Wright is not running for President. Perhaps if Rev. Wright was one of Obama's policy advisers I'd be a little more concerned. But you don't get to where Obama is by agreeing with Rev. Wright. I understand he was the leader of Obama's place of worship, but again, that does not mean that Obama is going to become President and regurgitate everything he heard on Sundays. Believe it or not, some people, particularly the intelligent ones, are capable of hearing things and still forming their own opinions. They are not not carbon copies of the people in their lives. So relax folks. Obama is not out to get us all. McCain on the other hand...

I dare anyone who has not yet watched Obama's "race speech" in Philly to do so. It's long (40 mins) but worth it. It obviously made me sad that he needed to give such a speech, and that the people who should listen to it the most, will likely not (i.e. the people who won't vote for him for no other reason than because he's black). Ignorance is unfortunately alive and well in this country.

Life in General

So when I was in college, I used to talk to my mom and occasionally mention a concert or event that I didn't attend because I didn't have the money. She always told me to forget the money, and go to the show. She always wanted me to take advantage of opportunities and go see everything the world has to offer. In the end, money is just money. I don't suggest being frivolous and blowing it on useless crap, but I most definitely encourage people to live their lives. Not to be morbid, but our days are all numbered, and we don't know what that number is. So life life now, while you can.

DC Cherry Blossoms

Every year, the cherry blossoms bloom in DC and the tourists take over. I consider it the official kick off to Tourist Season. No longer can we walk freely through the streets or through the Mall (the one with the monuments... not stores). It usually falls in late March or early April depending on temperatures. If you've never been, I highly recommend putting it on your schedule for 2009. Many years ago the Japanese gave us all these trees as a gift, and now the surround the Tidal Basin and line some of the most picturesque places in DC. Definitely worth seeing, even if you do have to fight the crowds. If you can- avoid going on a weekend, try it out during the week when the crowds are less intense. Also- pick the best weather day you can during "Peak Week" for the best pictures.

That's all I have for now. Top Model post will be up soon.

It's a hot tranny mess up in here

Alright, so in addition to every other show I love to watch, I love me some Project Runway. I really enjoyed this season more than past ones for a few reasons. One, I like when the designers get along. I don't do conflict and I really don't enjoy watching it. Two, I think they were undeniably some of the most talented designers to ever grace the show. Three, Christian (the winner) and Chris. They both brought so many hilarious moments to the show, not to mention fabulous designs. Four, Heidi and Tim. Everyone knows about Tim Gunn's fabulousness and Heidi? Well, I'm German and I just love her. Or maybe I just want to be her, I'm not sure which. My money is on the later.

So, SNL recently did a skit about Christian and I've posted below. Amy Poehler's impression of Christian is spot on. As is the Tim Gunn impression. Check it out.

Alright, I can't get the video to embed, so you'll have to go to NBC and watch it: http://www.nbc.com/Saturday_Night_Live/video/#mea=227155

(photos: Barbara Nitke © 2006/Bravo)

Who are these people?

A few nights ago I was out to dinner and we parked next to an minivan. Nothing too unusual there. But then, I'm climbing out of our car and my eyes focus on something on the minivan. That something was fake bullet holes. Really? My brain flooded with questions- Why?? Who does that? What type of person thinks fake bullet holes are a good idea? Are they trying to look like they were in a drive by shooting? Is that a desirable look for a vehicle? Do their friends think they're cool because they have bullet hole stickers on their car? Do they want people to think they're bad ass because their car has been shot up?

I've seen these stickers before- so I'm not sure where the mental outrage came from this time. Its sort of like the people with fake legs hanging out of their trunk, or the fake baseball in the window. Maybe I'm just being a car snob. Or just a snob in general, which is far more likely.

In my googling for pictures to accompany this post, I found that there is in fact a whole world devoted to fake bullet holes... interested? Check out www.bullet-hole-decals.com/ "You've seen people here there and everywhere with them, and now you can have them for yourself on your own bus, truck, car, suv, motorbike, even your bicycle or helmet - It's the really cool Bullet Hole Decals...Check out the cool real-life picture over there to the right (left) of a Honda motor vehicle with several bullet hole decals attached. Forget big mufflers, stereo equipment and those other complicated and expensive ways to customize your car. These fake bullet hole stickers are a truly inexpensive and fun way to customize your car and add a little 'shock effect' to motorists that may pull up beside you."

So according to this website, its for shock effect. I've never really had a desire to "shock" other drives. I suppose if I did though, I'd come up with other ways to do so.

I'm not sayin... I'm just sayin...

So I was watching Real Time with Bill Maher on HBO last night and he was interviewing Terry McAuliffe, Hillary's campaign manager. A few minutes into the interview which was clearly not going in the direction McAuliffe wanted, they "lost the feed." Hmmm. I'm not sayin, I'm just saying.

McAuliffe was getting trampled by Maher who has previously expressed his support for Obama. It had the potential to be a great, enlightening interview, but no such luck.

Quarter Life Conundrum?

Everyone has surely heard of the quarter life crisis. Usually hits around the early 20's - a time when you are out of school but not yet sure what to do with the rest of your life. It seems like no one else understands, no one "gets you"... yada yada yada. I think I already had mine. At least I already had the panic that accompanies the quarter life crisis.

I panicked that I had no idea what to do with my life, where to live, how to live- I felt very lost in the world. Well, maybe I'm over the crisis or maybe I've just learned to live with it, but I'm at a place where I'm okay with not knowing. I've embraced my lack of certainty. I realize that I'm only 24, I'm still relatively young and there is no rush.

Admittedly, I do have moments where I think "Gosh, so many of my friends are married and seem to be on a track, am I falling behind? Am I never going to have that?" But then I get over it. I really don't want to be married right now. Sure, the stability and companionship would be nice and if I found it tomorrow I wouldn't object, but at this point in my life- this very day, this very moment- I'm enjoying having the freedom to do whatever I want. Don't get me wrong, I'm not some selfish punk who doesn't want to get married for fear of losing my "freedom." As I said, I will gladly embrace that situation when it presents itself. But I digress, this post is not about stability, its about instability.

I'm at a point in my life where I don't know what to do with myself. I have so many brilliant ideas and the only thing that scares me is not being able to fulfill them. I want to live in Europe. I want to become a history teacher. I want to get a high level degree in military psychology. I want to live in DC. I want to move back to NY. I want to be near my friends. I want to be near my family. All glorious ideas, however I must pick and choose because I can not, logistically, have it all.

I love my job. As much as anyone could love their job, after all, they have to pay us because it is in fact "work." Would I prefer to jet set around the world taking pictures and learning foreign languages? You bet I would, but that won't pay the bills. So in the meantime, my job is just great. Which makes it very hard to leave to pursue any of those previously mentioned ideas. And I like it where I am, I have friends here but I do miss home. But I do long to live in Europe or go to school full time. I just can't make up my mind what to do. No matter what, something will be sacrificed. I guess it will come down to which sacrifices I'm willing to make. And the fear that I will pick the wrong one resulting in a life of perpetual 'what ifs' is always present.

So here I am, stuck in my quarter life crisis. Although crisis implies panic and stress, of which I am neither. So less crisis, more conundrum.

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Post Script: When I googled images of "quarter life crisis" my results yeilded a picture of Britney Spears. Ha! Thanks for making me feel better, Google. :)

I've lived to tell about it...

I finally had it done! My wisdom teeth finally came out today after last week's postponement.

Needless to say, I was extremely nervous but my best girl pals gave me pep talks and lots of encouragement to assure me I would infact survive. The doctor was wonderful and made me feel very comfortable. He was funny- but not in that corny doctor way. It all happened pretty quickly- he explained everything to me for about 10 minutes, then they took me into a different room and took off my glasses (which was a blessing b/c I was then unable to see what was going on- you know, all the huge pliers and giant needles there were about to use in my mouth).

They then put the oxygen on my nose and very gently inserted the IV sedation. Clearly I'm a lightweight having never been a drug user, and the meds hit me pretty quick. I told all the doctors over and over how funny it was that since today was Feb 29, leap year, next year I wouldn't have a anniversary of my wisdom teeth extraction (because at this point in the sedation I was pretty certain i would be celebrating this joyful occasion... yea.) After that I was out like a light. When I woke up it was all over. Apparently I then proceeded to thank all the doctors and nurses profusely for being "so nice." Ha, very typical of me.

I'm all home now and have been all day. Also in a lovely amount of pain. My swelling is pretty minimal at this point, although my post-op instructions say the 3rd day is the worst for the pain and swelling.

So that's all the news about the wisdom teeth. I'm just glad to have it all over and done with and now hopefully all my teeth and sinus problems will be alleviated. I also want to get those clear Invisiline things to straighten my teeth, but that's a story for another day. Time to zonk out on my pain meds.

Thanks so much for everyone's encouragement and for refraining from telling me their horror stories until after mine op was all over :)

That cute little picture is from Goodbye Wisodom Teeth!

Tacky Christmas Yards

This site is too funny. They have pictures of homes decorated for Christmas that are rather excessive. The captions and titles are the icing on the proverbial gingerbread house. Check it out at http://tackychristmasyards.com/

LA25

Len has been "busy" so I wrote another entry for him for Life At 25. Check it out here.

She's f*ing Matt Damon

Two videos that you must see.

A little backround if I may... Jimmy Kimmel and Matt Damon have this on going "fued" that is more of an on going joke. Kimmel ends his show each night with something along the lines of "Apologies to Matt Damon, we've run out of time again..."
So Matt Damon got together with Sarah Silverman (Kimmel's long time girlfriend and comedian) and made this little video...
Personally, I love how excited Sarah looks as she sings... I mean, who wouldn't be thrilled about that? Matt does look mighty hot. Then Jimmy Kimmel responded last night...

Both videos are hysterical and Jimmy's features some major A-listers... can you spot them all??

I'd write about the Oscars but they were so boring I fell alseep.

Alright, I didn't really fall asleep, but in hindsight I wish I had. I suffered through the entire show including Red Carpet on E!. I must say, the red carpet coverage with Ryan Seacrest was the most entertaining. Most notable was when weirdo Gary Busey attacked Ryan and Jen Garner. They all felt so uncomfortable and Ryan tried his best to contain the situation but even he had to laugh it off eventually and admit to not having a clue what was going on. Video footage of the trainwreck below.

Speaking of Jen Garner, I've always been a little reluctant to give in to her charm, but she won me over last night. She was best dressed in my eyes- she looked stunning in a beautiful black gown with her hair tied loosely back. Very glam, yet very Jen. Bravo Mrs. Affleck.

Johnny Depp was also there, nominated for Best Actor for Sweeny Todd, and he looked as sexy as ever in a handsome tuxedo with his hair shorter than we've seen lately, looking oh so hot. And of course his signature glasses.

And that's all I remember about the Oscars. I did watch the Jimmy Kimmel videos this morning (see above) and all ten minutes of them out-entertained me compared to the 3 and half hour Hollywood love fest.

http://www.wireimage.com <--source of pics